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Wed, 03 Dec 2003 19:00:02 . . . . gateway.net.local [Initial creation]

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Americans have this annoying habit of calling bubbly liquid produced within their land beer. Let's make it clear, once and for all. It isn't beer. It doesn't even come close. A famous Canadian politician, the late Pierre Trudeau, once joked:

Q: "What do American beer and having sex in a canoe have in common?"

A: "They're both fucking close to water!"

People who call things like Bud beer are guilty of a horrible crime. Bud is more correctly called "bubbly water" or "horse piss". Say it with me now: "bubb-ly wa-ter," "horse piss."

Alright, so I admit it.. I'm a bit of a beer snob. Being half Dutch, and having lived in England, can you blame me? In any case, if you happen to be American, and you're still reading :) here are some actual beers you might want to try, presuming you can buy imported stuff. Don't they have some crazy laws in certain states that beer can't contain more than 3% alcohol or something? Anyway, the beers:

* Boreal Noire - made in Quebec, a nice dark stout.

* Big Rock Black Amber - made in Alberta, another nice stout, with a bit more of a "smokey" taste.

* Hoegaarden - a white Belgian beer that's become rediculously trendy lately, with a "spicey" taste. (It's vaguely pronounced who - hard - en in Flemish.)

* Guinness - who doesn't know?

* Heineken - a light "summer" lager.. great after a long bikeride.

* Tsing Tao - a light Chinese lager. It's not bad, a very distinctive taste. In China, it comes in 1L (!) bottles.

* Waterloo Dark - made in Waterloo, a dark lager. Yes, that's right, a lager. But it's dark. It's good, despite being unconventional.